The breakup is still going on. I'm still very in love though, I can't really say why. And I just have this feeling that everything will turn out okay as long as I'm patient. That he'll come back to me and reconcile. And when this happens, I will accept any apologies and forgive him. Right now, he's with someone romantically, but I feel like it won't last. I don't know who he's with or what they're like because while I'm unblocked, everything is privated now. Still, I know that he still loves me. I can't shake that. I just think that he's afraid. I think this new relationship he's in is something to try and fill the void left behind. I really do miss him. Still, I have hope. I've been watching a lot of tarot reading videos for Geminis (I am a Gemini) as well as those "pick a card" readings and every one of them ends up saying that he's does still love me deep down and that he is going to come back and reconcile. With it happening so much, It can't be a coincidence. Before we were dating, the card would say that we were going to be together and we did come together. Everything is just saying to be patient and let him come forward himself. I'm anxious, but I'm looking forward to this furure. I love him and I'm ready for our reunion.
I saw something the other day that said that when someone is still nice to you no matter how badly they broke your heart, they really do love you. And you know what? He broke my heart. Shattered it into a million pieces. But I just can't be mean to him. He still deserves respect. And as funny as it is, I really do still love him. And really, if I didn't treat him well, it would make me no better than him. It's better to move forward with logic and lay the facts out on the table than it is to let strong emotions cloud your judgement.
If I knew how to read tarot cards, I'd probably get a set and do a reading for myself, but I don't really know what any of it means. From what I understand, there's a lot of intuition involved and really looking into the cards to get that deeper meaning. I've also considered making my own deck just for fun. Thought it might be cool, though a lot of work too, honestly.
Other than this little journal, I've had my own paper journal. It's a little easier to write in that one since it doesn't take any weird formatting or coding, but it's also got way less space in it and is far less legible. It's easier to be consistent with something right there, though. Not that I've been as consistent as I've meant to be. I've definitely forgotten to write for a couple days.