I'm going to bed soon. It's about 6:30am so it's pretty late. I'll feed the dogs first though and take them to the bathroom. I don't want them peeing on my floor again, but it'll probably happen anyway.
Apparently there's a state of emergency that was declared for my entire state because of an incoming hurricane. Supposedly it'll be a categoty 4. If it actually ends up being that bad, we're going to leave the area for a bit. They're giving out sandbags so people's houses don't flood. We're going to have to get some for the garage because it has a tendency to flood and I gutted the old ones we had from when Irma happened with a knife some months ago. Maybe a year ago. I can't remember.
The person I think I like likes someone else. It makes me jealous and wish it were me. Maybe this is just some dumb infatuation. Maybe I'll get over it. Part of me wants to do what I can to have them utterly obsessed with me. Sometimes I think about making someone obsessed and utterly reliant on me only to break them and shatter it all. To see someone so wholly devoted to me be flung away casually.
I saw them call that peraon they like pretty just now. Why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one they think is pretty? They seem to really like that person but I cant even figure out who it is. Ughhh I'm going to be alone forever. This sucks. I know if I just said how I feel that they wouldn't feel the same and I'd just end up making things weird and awkward between us. I'm tired. This sucks. I think I'll go back to sleep now. I just woke up because my family was being moisy anyway. Maybe I'll write when I wake up.
Just kidding I want to cry now. I really want to cry. This is awful. Honestly fuck this why do they have to like them so much why am I never the one someone likes. Why do I keep getting jealous over their crushes and why am I always too afraid to say anything? Whatever I hate this I should go back to sleep. Ill feel better when I wake up. Goodnight I guess.