I feel terrible. I don't know how I can cope with anything happening right now. I just took my bed apart so the frame could get taken to the storage unit. I haven't slept on just the mattress and the box spring in so long. I'm really not ready for this move, but there's nothing I can really do about it. I just have to pack everything up as best as I can. I'd rather just sleep and wake up in the new place like it was all just some bad dream. My mom said that when the move is done, I have to get a job or go off to school. I'm scared to do either of those and I don't know how to apply for anything. I'd re-apply for disability but I know they wouldn't approve me. They didn't the first time because I could "follow directions" and it really pissed me off. I hate that I'm "too functional" to get any sort of resources, but not functional enough to do anything. I really want to go off to art school, but I'm afraid to apply and even more afraid of all the money it would take to go. I and my family don't have the money for that. And that's not even talking about how I don't really think I could live alone. I can't even make phone calls without feeling sick or crying.